Two aliens landed in downtown Juneau, Alaska near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps which happened to still be sporting an old Sarah Palin for Governor sticker and the younger alien addressed it saying, ‘Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.’
The gas pump, of course, didn’t respond.
The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.
The older alien said, ‘I’d calm down if I were you.’
The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response.
Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump’s haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, ‘Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!’
The older alien again warned his comrade saying, ‘You probably don’t want to do that. I really don’t think you should make her mad.’
‘Rubbish,’ replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion.
A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet, depositing him a burned, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a flowerbed.
Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he
refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.
‘What a ferocious creature!’ exclaimed the young, fried alien. ‘She damn near killed me! How did you know she was so dangerous?’
The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, ‘If there’s one thing I’ve learned during my intergalactic travels, you don’t want to mess with a woman who even has a penis, much less one who can loop it over her shoulder twice and then stick it in her ear.’