Actual breaking news article found on news.com.au:

Search for missing pensioner

From: AAP
March 05, 2010 6:46AM

A PENSIONER has vanished in Sydney’s southwest after saying he was going to get his haircut, prompting police to comb the area.

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It’s not physically possible to work up a good guilt lather while laughing your butt off, but I swear I’ve genuinely tried. This poor man may have fallen victim to some horrible deed yet here I sit –  shamefully laughing so hard at this bad, bad pun there are tears in my eyes. God, I love this country!

To comment on this post please scroll up to the title: No, that wasn’t an earthquake, that was Walter Kronkite rolling over in his grave… and click the word comments just beneath. Thanks, OzMud