This is one of those ‘hot pen’ posts where careful outlining is replaced by random doodling. And since I don’t doodle in public very often, I’ll ask that you not look too closely :)

The private lives of teenagers Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston are not, in my opinion, fair game for the media. We should all be butting out and let them work out how to grow up on their own. That said, it’s hard to butt out of something that keeps being shoved under your nose. So like it or not, appropriate or not, here’s my opinion of the ongoing Palin-Johnston Little Theatre, Season Two.

Not that long ago, Bristol set down roots in a condo in Anchorage, Alaska for herself and son Tripp. She presented herself to the world as an ordinary, single mom who worked a nine to five job in a doctor’s office, raising her son alone with little to no help from her son’s father. These were her credentials. They provided the foundation for her to continue her role as poster girl for the Candies Foundation Abstinence Only campaign.

Bristol had barely unpacked when the magazine offers came pouring in for paid interviews. Mom’s ever-diligent attorney set Bristol up as the CEO of an LLC, a convenient, grown-up method of collecting her monies without having to be completely transparent about her earnings. And while she was still riding high on the media coverage, she seized the moment to follow in her mother’s footsteps and register with a speaker’s bureau as a keynote speaker for Abstinence Only. After all, she was an ordinary, single, hard-working mom with a message: Keep your legs closed or this could happen to you.

The problem:  Bristol isn’t believable.  Her peers don’t buy her story. Her mother is a millionaire. Bristol drives a brand new car. She flies around the country in comfortable jets and rests in luxurious hotels. She doesn’t ever seem to need to find a babysitter. For someone who holds down a nine to five job in a doctor’s office, she certainly gets a lot of time off to jet to New York to appear on the Today Show.

When asked (in the many televised interviews) who cared for Tripp while she worked, Bristol gave a few explanations. One was that she had a roommate. Another was she had a live-in babysitter. Or was that live-in help. Maybe it was her relatives upon whom she could always count. And when her answers piqued curiosity enough, people tracked down her condo in Anchorage only to discover her ‘roomie’ was in fact a live-in boyfriend.

So we’re to think that this kind young man graciously cared for baby Tripp while Bristol worked her nine to five job, traversed the country preaching Abstinence Only and that they engaged in a completely plutonic relationship. Oh, and he never contributed to the rent or electricity bills or groceries because Bristol was emphatic about how she’d paid her own way and took help from no one. That she, at age 19, also claimed to have purchased the condo on her own seems to have not troubled a single reporter.

When I said her peers didn’t believe her, I was being kind.

No matter how much money one spends on a production, if the actress isn’t believable, no one’s going to buy it. Bristol Palin once looked directly into a camera and said something on the order of “Abstinence doesn’t work. It’s not a practical solution for teens.” So when Bristol Palin talks about abstinence being the only solution for teens, people remember, and nobody buys it.

Her Candies Ambassadorship flopped out of sight. The speaking engagements that were to fill the LLC coffers never came to pass. The paid interviews slowly dwindled down to none. My best guess is that by mid July the kids –  all of them – were running out of money.

If only they had a unique story to sell…

To comment on this post, please scroll up to the title “Bristol Palin: Average 19 yr old? Or Like Mother Like Daughter” and click on the word comments just beneath.  Thanks, OzMud