While the rest of the world concerns itself with trying to pump up a troubled economy, Sarah Palin spends most of her time pumping up her own ego. And I can’t help but think she’s doing a lot of it on the taxpayer’s dime.

The Immoral Minority posted about ten minutes of a talk-radio exchange between Sarah Palin and a local host (who is so bad at his job I’m not even going to give him a credit here) in Alaska. I’m ashamed to admit I couldn’t get through the entire interview (if you can call two people so busy stroking each other’s egos in public I actually jumped out of my chair at one point and hollered OH FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE GET A ROOM!)

But I heard just enough. Sarah is single-handedly leading the legislature in their decision-making regarding the stimulus package even though she’s morally against the stimulus package.

Sarah Palin is against the stimulus package because it’s free money and free money promotes government growth not free market growth. (Personally, I think when everyone’s hungry, the arguement over whether a chicken is free-range or barn-fed goes out the window in favour of just eating. But that’s me.)

Sarah Palin is against the stimulus package because free money makes a state dependent upon it’s government. That’s a bad thing because we have too much government already. So sayeth the Republican National Canters. So sayeth Sarah Palin.

Against government funds? She is? Really, someone should be nice enough to bundle and present this lady with copies of all the campaign speeches she made between September and November of 2008 (highlighting all the bits about how great a lobbyist she was and how much free money she procured for Alaska because of her great lobbying) to help keep her from constantly tripping over her own mouth. (I’m betting her expensive RNC shoes are covered in lipstick by now.)

I have just three reactons to Sarah’s radio intercourse (the part that I heard before I just couldn’t listen any more).

The first is to Sarah herself:

A Stimulus Package is like a big bandaid. It’s purpose is to allow what’s underneath a chance to heal. The idea is, by the time the government funds run out, the economy will have new jobs to offer those folks who were given jobs under the stimulus package. The idea is that if unemployed Joe Six-Pack takes a job fixing roads now, for the government, while he’s working (still feeding his family and not losing his house), the economy will have had a chance to heal and by the time Joe’s temporary government job is over, there will be a place for him back in the private sector.

He won’t have lost his home, his family, or become an additional welfare burden on an already strained system. And, everyone benefits from the much-needed road improvements.

The bandaid neither becomes part of the skin itself, nor does it make the wearer dependent upon it’s use. It’s just a bandaid. A biodegradeable bandaid. Use it once, then throw it away.

The second is to anyone considering furthering Sarah Palin’s political career:

There is a word I learned back in my college years that flops around in my head like a freshly-caught fish each time I hear or read yet another statement from Sarah which completely contradicts a statement she’s made previously. It’s from one of the fathers of psychology, (and while I clearly recall the word, the name of it’s originator escapes me). It means a person who is not necessarily childlike, but who has a childish outlook of the world.

Weltanschauung. It means while a person may have many, many perfectly mature qualities, his or her view of the world and how it works has never quite grown up. It allows the person to say something outrageous and maintain a total expectation that the world will believe them, uncontested. It’s how I imagine Sarah copes with her varied statements about what she believes in, or what she’s done, or how she can so often look directly into a camera and lie without hesitation.

It’s that thing in our brains that, as a child, allows us to tell our parents “No! Of course I didnt go near the bowl of cake batter!” and not flinch once while mum wipes the batter from our cheeks. The majority of us outgrow this tale-telling over time and through experience, but there are those with a childish Weltanschauung who continue to tell tales as adults and expect the world to just let them.

I hope Sarah’s supporters will someday be able to separate her wonderfully sparkling personality from her complete ineptness as a political leader. Because you can’t build a political career on past successes as a lobbyist for free money, then turn around and be completely against it, all the while claiming to never have been for free money in the first place.

(By the way – just a head’s up – but in case none of you Republicans out there have been paying attention, Sarah has been publicly vacillating on her abortion views as well. Oops.)

And finally, to Levi Johnston:

Levi, you and Bristol were paraded in front of the nation as Sarah’s pride and joys. She bragged about you, hugged you, openly told of her pride in you both. She cannot, now, alter those claims just because her political life would be easier if none of it had ever been said, or if you would just obediently disappear into the woodwork. The world simply does not work that way. And neither do courts of law.

For every negative statement Sarah makes about you, hold up a clip of her telling the nation how much she adores and loves you and looks forward to the day when you marry her daughter. There are ten weeks of her making loving, caring, positive statements about you in every newsroom across your country and about two hundred more.

She can’t have it both ways, Levi. Nobody can. And tuck this in your back pocket for those times when you might be feeling a tad nervous: In a Family Court of Law, the judge doesn’t care if Sarah Palin is disappointed in you or not. The judge only cares if you disappoint your son.