I just realized why Jeff Goldbloom (oops! Sorry! Goldblum even) repeats himself so often, saying one thing two or three different ways in a row. It’s not an acting technique at all. It’s that he’s desperately attempting to dislodge that one perfect word he knows is trapped somewhere in his brain behind a stack of useless phrases that he doesn’t want at all. But he needs to keep spouting the close-but-no-cigar phrases,  moving them around so the perfect word, stuck in the back, has room to work itself free and strategically fall out of his mouth – just in time to make him sound amazingly intelligent 🙂

Well if it’s good enough for Jeff, it’s good enough for me. Here we go: I’m calling dibbs. I’m… reserving the right. I’m… taking the fifth. This isn’t working. Maybe if I suddenly grew very tall…

I’m needing to convey, in all sincerity, that I’m completely aware that the topic of this post is childish and that I’m posting it anyway. I’m embracing the child in me tonight and calling dibs on – the right to behave like a four year old.

So there.

Or in the wise words of my daughter Samantha when she was four, “Well fine then cry!”

This wouldn’t even be an issue with me, were it not for the fact that Sarah habitually grabs credit for things which can’t possibly have originated in her head under all that hairspray. (Everyone knows original ideas need oxygen.) The most recent credit-grabbing incident being President Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech given in Norway,  in which Sarah claims, in a radio interview, (and on Facebook!) to have found passages from her book.

Really Sarah, do you honestly think the President of The United States of America (long with his staff of professional writers) became so befuddled and desperate for speech material that he sent an intern off to buy your book so he could skim through it looking for ideas?

I actually get headaches trying to think like her.

So, whoever you are reading this, stand up. (Go ahead, nobody’s looking, honest!) Place one hand on a hip, lean into it, point a finger with the other and repeat after me… SARAH PALIN… LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE… YOU STARTED THIS!

Geez, that felt good! Ok. Here’s the deal.

Some of the book reviewers and Palinbots, reading Sarah’s book, have been swooning over the dedication line to her kids – I breathe you – and I just want to set the record straight. While it may be a touching sentiment, it’s not her line.

Nup.

Not Sarah’s.

It actually appears in the chorus of two different songs, both originating in 2007/2008.  This one’s my favourite:

I Crave You (new song 2008) Shontelle

(chorus)
I crave you, I breathe you, I taste you
I see you in my dreams
I’ll never replace you, escape you, crazy as it seems
You said you’ll never go any where
But every time I look around boy you gonna dissapear
Still I cry still I try to save you
Baby boy I crave you (crave you)
Don’t you know I love you
Don’t you know I love you


This isn’t bad either:

Always (Posted on youtube Feb 27 2008) Anime [Doomsday]

(chorus)
I love you
I hate you
I can’t live around you.
I breathe you
I taste you
I can’t live without you.
I just can’t take anymore
This life of solitude
I guess that i’m out the door
And now i’m done with you.

It was a perfectly lovely comment between mother and children. Lovely. But she could have at least surrounded it with quotation marks and given the authors proper credit, and when people say to her, in person, how taken they were by the words, she could at least say something simple like “yes, it struck me the same way the first time I heard it…”

 

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