November 2010


Hey, don’t look at me – I’m with the editors…

To comment on this post, please scroll up to the title “Found in a Dumpster Behind Harper-Collins, The Book Cover Sarah’s Editors Wanted To Use…” and click on the word comments just beneath.  Thanks, OzMud

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Spouse was chuckling away, murmuring things like “I love Americans!” the way only an Oz bloke can… then I find out he’s reading last years Darwin Awards and the winner was this guy from Arkansas:

THE WINNER!!!:
( Arkansas Democrat Gazette):
 
Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday.

Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock , were returning to Des Arc after a frog catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Pooles pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the 22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering- wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge .

After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement, and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. “Thank God we weren’t on that bridge when Thurston shot his n**s off, or we might both be dead,” stated Wallis.

 “I’ve been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can’t believe that those two would admit how this accident happened,” said Snyder. Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia ( Poole ‘s wife), asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck. Priorities, after all!!

Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole did, in fact, effectively remove himself from the gene pool.

Here’s a link to the runners up. The new list should be out soon. I love this time of year!

To comment on this post, please scroll up to the title “2010 Darwin Award Winner (from December 2009)” and click on the word comments just beneath.  Thanks, OzMud

HAPPY TURKEY DAY!

See Sarah  – that’s how it’s done. In a well-manicured garden flanked by two well-behaved and well-groomed daughters (neither of whom flip off the press or tug at uncomfortably short-shorts) and without blood dripping in the background as loser turkeys are shoved into the cone of death by a leering butcher.

Just another reason why yOu can’t become president.

Oh and I heard this on The Ed Show… don’t bears hibernate this time of year? Be  good moma grizzly, Sarah, and go find a cave to hole up in for a few months – give the rest of us a much-deserved Palin break 🙂

To comment on this post, plese scroll up to the title “How A Real President Pardons A Turkey” and click on the word comments just beneath.  Thanks, OzMud

Malia Litman, Progressive Alaska and Palin’s Q & A all reported today on Sarah Palin’s huge North Korea – South Korea gaffe on Glenn Beck’s radio show. It didn’t take long for the youtube vid’s to start popping up 🙂

So… Sarah Palin thinks we are pals with communist North Korea, eh? Did she forget this speech?

Even our youth voices concerns over a possible Palin presidency…

It’s not like Sarah hasn’t made this mistake already It’s not like we the people haven’t been repeatedly warned:

January 2010 – The Telegraph, UK

Sarah Palin will have to watch her north and south

A new book lays bare the astonishing depth and breadth of Palin’s ignorance and her risible unsuitability for the job of vice-president, writes Liz Hunt.

January 2010 – Extra! Korea, wordpress.com

Sarah Palin, North and South Korea and Semantics

Sarah Palin (R) said Tuesday night that it was “a lie” that she didn’t know the difference between North Korea and South Korea during the 2008 presidential campaign.

November 2010 – guardian.co.uk

Sarah Palin: ‘We’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies’

A slip of the tongue by Sarah Palin mixing up North and South Korea is a reminder of the credibility hurdles she faces…

*                *               *

Indeed, I found no less than 1,000 hits for articles/youtube videos featuring Sarah Palin and her total lack of understanding basic U.S. history.

Are we done yet? She still running? Rats…

To comment on this post, please scroll up to the title “Sarah – Palling Around With Communists” and click on the word comments just beneath.  Thanks, OzMud

You had to know someone was going to do this… I laughed so hard there are still tears in my eyes!  And it’s just in time for Thanksgiving too!

When I visited the FB page there were more tha30 comments – all hilarious. Check them out here:  

Oh and I pick May! Because umm she’s so very limber 🙂

h/t to my oldest daughter

To comment on this post, please scroll up to the title “2011 Miss TSA Calendar (Pick Your Fav Pin-up Girl!)” and click on the word comments just beneath.  Thanks, OzMud

Taking a Palin break- that whole famdamily just makes me crazy and once in a while I need to stop and come up for sane air. So here’s a lovely little thing I stumbled over last night: A little girl in a Baptist church reading the story of Jonah and the Whale. It’s enchanting.

You don’t have to believe anything in the bible. You dont have to believe in anything, period. Just watch this absolutely adorable little girl tell the story of Jonah (and the big fish? What happened to the whale?), complete with voice changes and arm gestures. You’ll at least come away believing in the human race because any species that produces offspring this smart and cute can’t be all bad 🙂

Watch it fast – the  youtube links are disappearing as I’ve been posting… if this one disappears, the original is on a religious website here:  http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=9EM911NU 

(Should you go to this site, don’t attempt to read the sugary,bible-thumping comments without wearing a sports cup!)

PS. The two teenagers in the background are going to be mortified to learn this video has gone viral and they are caught-out chewing fingernails and picking at zits while the camera was rolling. ROFL

============ Update ============

So I’m watching it again because she’s just so cute and I’d rather listen to her than Sarah Palin being interviewed by Sean Hannity and – whoa nelly! Back up the soundtrack! At around 0:50-0:59 does she actually say (in God’s voice) “because I want you to go there and tell those frickin’ people…”  HAHAHAHA! Did I hear that wrong?

To comment on this  post, please scroll up to the title “Palin Break: The Story of Jonah as told by the Cutest Little Girl Ever!” and click on the word comments just beneath.  Thanks, OzMud

Even if the highly unlikely probability of winning a presidential election happens, Sarah Palin would never be president. And here’s why…

10. 
The Presidency is an actual job. Sarah doesn’t do jobs. Sarah hires other people to do  jobs for her. I’m pretty sure POTUS can’t just hire a Finance Manager and then leave the Oval office every day at 3pm to go watch soaps on TV.

9.
Presidents of other countries, when meeting with POTUS to discuss solutions to world problems expect to engage in stimulating, intellectual conversations. Sarah doesn’t do stimulating, intellectual conversations. Sarah brings cookies and has her picture taken while handing them out to starving villagers, displaced by harsh winter storms, to illustrate her generous nature and problem-solving prowess.

8.
POTUS is expected to have his or her photo taken several times a day, gratis, with any number of charitable organizations, winners of school contests, heads of state, newly elected officials, etc. Sarah doesn’t do photos for free. Sarah routinely charges as much as $5k to have her photo taken with a payee.

7.
POTUS is expected to give several speeches per week, including a weekly address to the nation. He is not paid extra for any of these speeches. Sarah doesn’t do free speeches. Sarah doesn’t speak for less than $75k and then says as little as possible. (Unless she’s appearing on Fox where she says even less.)

6.
Pardoning a turkey each year before Thanksgiving is a POTUS tradition. Sarah doesn’t do turkey pardoning as much as she stands in front of national media, live, on air and shows the country how a turkey is slaughtered after having been pardoned.

5.
At a meeting of international delegates, POTUS is expected to remember the names and countries of each delegte as he or she speaks to them individually. Sarah doesn’t do names or countries. Sarah can’t even seem to remember where her youngest son was born. Wasilla? Anchorage? Well really it’s all just semantics, isn’t it. At least he was born a fish picker.

4.
POTUS is expected to work with congress to repair our failing healthcare system and come up with new, innovative ways to incorporate private healthcare insurance with government-sponsored medicare. Sarah doesn’t do government-sponsored healthcare. Sarah thinks we should all just hop over the border into Canada and let their government handle our healthcare needs.

3.
In times of crisis, POTUS is expected to take responsibility and to be the calming voice of reason – the steady mind that leads the public away from panic and towards useful solutions. Sarah doesn’t do calm. Sarah does whine, blame and point, and all at the top of her lungs.

2.
Our President faces tough decisions every day. From immigration to offshore drilling rights, POTUS is poised to deal with a daily myriad of problems, and often is expected to voice possible solutions off the cuff, at a moment’s notice. Sarah doesn’t do tough decisions. Sarah spews whatever idiotic idea pops into her head at the time with no apparent concept of self-editing. Her idea of solving the immigration problems in America consists of building a 6k mile, 14′ tall wooden fence. Her offshore drilling solutions are to bring all offshore drilling to Alaska where its – safe.

And the #1 reason why Sarah Palin will never be President:

1.
The White House staff consists of approximately 2,500 federal employees. This does not include the President’s cabinet or his personal staff. Hundreds of people run interference with and review his correspondence, including emails and telephone calls. His staff makes his schedules, plans his events and come and go between their offices and the Oval Office, routinely.

On top of this, POTUS works intimately and daily with his cabinet of 22+ members. These are the people in whom he confides and trusts to ask their counsel and advice. The President, Joint Chiefs of Staff, Vice President and Cabinet members all purportedly have no secrets. Well, very few anyway.

Sarah Palin’s entire world is built on secrets. Secrets closely guarded by a handful of trusted supporters. In fact,her inner circle of trusted individuals is smaller today then when she was picked to be John McCain’s running mate, two years ago because Sarah fires anyone she perceives to have wronged her – whether her perception is accurate or not.  Sarah trusts no one.

Sarah Palin can never be POTUS because Sarah Palin could never handle the sheer number of people expected to be let into her inner circle in order for her to function as President.

Sarah Palin’s entire four-year campaign for the Presidency is a farce.  As a campaign vehicle it does not exist. It does exist, however in the minds of her supporters. Sarah has seen to that. It is perhaps the biggest money-making vehicle to which this country has ever been exposed. It reminds me of an old science fiction story where locals are conned into letting the big alien machine into their town and they feed it everything they can find because they’ve been told it’s the most important machine in the world – that by feeding and protecting it they were the chosen ones…  and then they were told it needed to be fed!

With the help of the gullible townspeople, the machine slowly gobbles up the town, land and people and all.

Sarah Palin will never be president. But she will, if left to her own devices, gobble up the country, the land and the people and all until like the fictional town above, there’s nothing left. 

For some reason my link function doesn’t work this morning. This is one of many cartoons found at About.com: Political Humor called Best Palin Cartoons. (http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bl-palin-cartoons.htm?PS=243%3A17)

 

To comment on this post, please scoll up to the title “Top Ten Reasons Why Sarah Palin Will Never Be POTUS” and click on the word comments just beneath.  Thanks, OzMud

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