Well this is a must read if I ever saw one!

According to his Google + page, Charles Clymer is “…a white kid from Texas” who sees first-hand how bigoted and racist his male counterparts behave in his home state and he’s out to help the women there regain their rights.

He’s written a bill to make male masturbation illegal because… well you need to read it yourself! Here’s an excerpt to get you going:

Did you know that we have no actual study that proves sperm can’t feel pain when unnecessarily ejaculated? It’s true! For all we know, these are living organisms that endure excruciating nerve stimulation when exposed outside of the male reproductive system.

There are those who would argue that we are regulating men’s bodies and taking away their freedom to make their own healthcare choices, but as our conservative brethren have pointed out in many a debate on rape culture, men simply can’t control their sexual urges on their own as per the landmark legal reasoning of “boys will be boys.” Therefore, they need help and incentives.

To that end, I am proposing a bill in the Texas Legislature that does the following:

1. Ejaculation of semen outside of an active effort to procreate is banned. Some would make the case that we should allow exemptions for cases of rape, incest, or if the man’s life is in danger, but this is all nonsense and doesn’t correspond with our strong, Texas values. A life is a life. Just consider if our great governor Rick Perry had been ejaculated by his father during a self-pleasuring act.

In the event Section 1 isn’t passed, we should include further restrictions that make it incredibly difficult for men to masturbate without facing criminal prosecution:

Read full article on Clymer’s blog here.

anti-masturbatory gum