Thought I would share this with you. My Facebook Family has come to expect this level of perfection from my cooking adventures and it didn’t seem fair to leave out my Blog Family. So the following is the true story (and recipe) of how I made Pizza for my husband last night – both of us with differing degrees of  broken right arms and each doing what we can to get a meal on the table. (He chopped the pineapple and mushrooms – I did the rest. His break is newer than mine and he’s male, elevating his injury to a rank way above mine. I’m letting him get away with this.  For now.)

Perfekt Pizza 3125

CREATING A PERFEKT PIZZA:

1. Take a nap. Oversleep.
2. Wake up nice and groggy and, using a tall glass, pour 1/4 cup hot water into a mix of 1 cup milk, 1 teaspoon sugar and 1 packet of dry yeast. Knock it over while replacing the kettle on its stand.
3. Start over.
4. Repeat making the yeast and hot water and milk. Once the glass is full knock it over again, this time backhanding it while putting the milk carton away.
5. Start over. This time manage to get all ingredients into the glass. Sneak out of the room (before the glass figures out you’ve gone and falls over just to mock you) and let the yeast rise. Sneak back in after 5 min and pour into 3 cups plain flour. Splash with olive oil (about three ribbons across the top) and knead until it forms a ball. Cover.
6. The dough needs time to rise so… go back to bed for an hour.
7. Wake up groggier than before. Place the dough on a floured rolling sheet. Knock table bin (brimming with veggie scraps) onto the floor. Make sure it sails across the entire room getting bits of food evenly spread on the lino.
8. Get all your toppings and sauce on the pizza dough. (Seen here are salami, pineapple, mushrooms and onions,) Realize the one thing you forgot to add to your shopping list was Mozzarella.
9. Scrounge thru the fridge to get enough cheese. Any cheese. Spot the container of Parmesan in the back of the fridge. It’s frozen, so shake the container really really hard. Don’t bother checking to see if the lid is all the way shut. The cloud of Parmesan cheese will add to the festivities and give your hair an authentic Italian look.
10. Half burn the pizza because you stopped to post your experience on Facebook and voila! Perfect homemade pizza! Every time!

Mangia!
-Oz

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