May 09


SP Gas pump Aliens

 

 

Two aliens landed in downtown Juneau, Alaska near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps which happened to still be sporting an old Sarah Palin for Governor sticker and the younger alien addressed it saying, ‘Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.’

The gas pump, of course, didn’t respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.

The older alien said, ‘I’d calm down if I were you.’

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response.

Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump’s haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, ‘Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!’

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, ‘You probably don’t want to do that. I really don’t think you should make her mad.’

‘Rubbish,’ replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion.

A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet, depositing him a burned, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a flowerbed.

Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he
refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.

‘What a ferocious creature!’ exclaimed the young, fried alien. ‘She damn near killed me! How did you know she was so dangerous?’

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, ‘If there’s one thing I’ve learned during my intergalactic travels, you don’t want to mess with a woman who even has a penis, much less one who can loop it over her shoulder twice and then stick it in her ear.’

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…why boys need more parenting than girls:

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Anyone who knows me, knows I am subject to sudden explosions of random thoughts, all masquerading as good ideas, causing my entire world to make mutiple giant u-turns without signalling.

Sans warning, one or more truly scathingly brilliant ideas will pop into my head and I find myself so eager to see what they would look like outside of my head, I can actually short-circuit trying to give birth to all of them at once. My children have told me this is an actual visual event, from which they derive great amusement, and had they ever been able to predict their occurances, they could have, as teenagers, made good money selling tickets to their friends.

My children have quite vivid imaginations and are not to be trusted :/

I bring this up because this past week has been one long chain reaction of non-stop scathingly brilliant ideas popping into my head, so permeating the rest of my life there are no more clean dishes in the kitchen, the benchtops appear to have been decorated by a recent cyclone and my toes are cold from putting off going out and buying new slippers because last winter ate my old ones, and this winter descended in the middle of my creative streak running amok. One can always find warm toes. But to midwife a new idea being hatched, well… I have my priorities, after all:)

So… before I get sidetracked one more time, I’ve meant to address the comments made a post or two back about – well here. Let’s just pull up a couple and have a sticky beak:

Post title: C’mon Wasillans – Talk To Us
Date: 13 May 2009
Subject: Photos used by the Palin camp as proof Bristol could not have been pregnant in December 2007

Readers Comments:

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There are two overflowing folders on my IE toolbar chockers with links saved from as far back as Septmber ’08. One is called comments, the other research. In them I have attempted to preserve links to newspaper articles, television and youtube video clips, assorted websites, chat threads and blogs all pertaining to or raising questions about the qualifications of Sarah Palin to assume the role of political world leader.

While most links to most of the places named above are either still active or politely redirect the reader to an archive, there are some that are just broken. Gone. Non-existant. Can you guess which ones? Stand clear, don’t let any sarcasm drip onto your good shoes…

In my haste to put together the post about these particular photos, two things prevented me from doing a more accurate job. First, I lost the connection to where each was originally posted. My notes show they had each, at separate times, been visible on the governor’s website photo album. The one on the outside deck had been dated December 2007 as what had attracted me to the photo initially was a thread discussion about how it could not have been taken in December or there would have been snow on the hills in the background.

The staircase photo had been amongst those displayed in the governor’s website photo album at least once, as, according to my notes, that’s where I first saw it. The outside deck photo reappeared on the governor’s website, this time dated September but that, too was short-lived. I do not recall if it was posted under the September date while the staircase photo was posted as December, but the trying to pass them off as having been taken four months apart is what initially piqued my interest enough to take notes so I could eventually refer to or write about them.

So two weeks ago when I saw both photos posted on Palin’s Deceptions, and read Audrey’s accounting, I siezed the opportunity to ‘finish my thoughts’ in my own post. By then, unfortunately, most of my research links had been disconnected and I was left with sketchy notes, and my second writing downfall, a tired memory coupled with the idea bug striking me in the wee hours of the morning – always a deadly time for me to share an opinion because there is almost always something askew.

ADN.com had pulled several articles from the previous spring, announcing only that they had been archived – maybe – and did not offer links to their archives (even though I am a subscriber to their paper). How odd that a reputable newspaper would actually say to it’s reader “the article you’re looking for might be achived…” What kind of publication doesn’t archive all of  it’s writings? It becomes even more odd to note that even this message is now gone, replaced by a blank page. Blank. [See above link] Do they not have the money to properly archive their articles? Or are they just doing their governor’s bidding again…

Gov. Sarah’s website, I’ve discovered, changes with the whim wind. It doesn’t resemble any other governor’s website. I’m guessing it’s been revamped by at least a half-dozen staffers, each with the assigned goal of damage control rather than the desire to put together an informative government website for their citizens. And because of the many glaring mishaps, I’m guessing none of them ever worked on an actual government website before – ever.

One example of the unfortunate presentation of the gov.ak website is this…

While other first dude, first lady bio pages list their personal and business accomplishments with links to their pet philanthropic projects, like, say, feeding the homeless or promoting autism awareness, Alaska’s first dude’s page is shallow in content and unnecessarily links it’s page to a private corporation who clearly benefits financially from the governmental endorsement and free publicity. (If that’s not another Ethics Violation, it should be.)

Diane Patrick, first lady of Massachusetts, a former school teacher and lawyer, on her bio page, endorses early-start education as her pet project.

Maria Shriver, first lady of California, on top of a huge list of accomplishments and active participation with women’s rights groups, etc. lists support of Special Olympics as a pet project.

Bob Eaves, first dude of North Carolina, lists having worked to create a memorial at UNC’s Chapel Hill, dedicated to alumni who died in war. He also lists his interests in sports, but there is no link to a sponsor’s page. It’s just a coment: Bob spends a lot of his time volunteering and following his North Carolina Tar Heels sports teams. He also enjoys reading, golf, hunting, fishing and skiing.And that’s how it should be.

But back to the photos. I have no problem with the fact that a Holiday photo-shoot for Gov. Sarah and her family was taken four months in advance. No problem at all.

I take full issue, however, with the fact these two photos have been portrayed – more than once – as proof positive Bristol could not have been pregnant in December of 2007, and at least once as having been taken on two separate occasions, four months apart, for the same purpose.

I greatly appreciate all your input – and aplogize for not having been clear in the original post. Sadly, my train of thought was derailed amidst all the broken links and it took your comments to see just how far I’d fallen off the track.

Fear not – it will happen again – and I’ll be counting on you to pull me back 🙂

On a different note altogether (See how quickly my mind bolts? Keep up!) this, is my next favourite comment:

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I’m wondering, now, what it would take to get on the Governor’s Christmas Card list. Who is on this list? Anybody out there know? How much fun would it be to make getting on the Gov’s Christmas Card list a new goal?

Ok my feet are cold. I’m off to buy slippers and maybe set fire to the kitchen.

If people keep buying the bill of goods Sarah Palin keeps selling, we’re all going to be taking this pledge.

WeSheeple

Hey, dont look at me. Listen to Sarah herself. It’s at 1:10 in her infamous right-to-life speech, given last April in Evansville Indiana.

So. To reiterate yesterday’s US headlines, in a state where the lead executives are not allowed to moonlight with a second job, Sarah Palin has been legally cleared by her hand-appointed legal hatchet team to enter into a contract with a publishing house, where an undisclosed amount of money will change hands in the form of a writer’s advance, this year, while she’s still the Governor of Alaska, to write a book about her life which will serve as a stepping-stone to the 2012 nomination for Presidency, a goal for which she heretofore has denied striving… and this circumvention of Alaska Law is OK because a) her legal team has declared a publisher’s advance is not ‘income’, and b) she’s promised (and of course we all know how reliable her word is) to only work on this project after hours, in her spare time.

Do all Alaska attorneys think the rest of us just fell off the cabbage truck or is it only Sarah’s attorneys? A writer’s advance is payment against future earnings. If Sarah gets one million dollars in the form of an advance, this means she will not be given any royalty payments until her book has earned her more than one million dollars.So no matter how you slice this pie, it’s I N C O M E.

The original purpose of a writer’s advance was to ensure the publisher, the one taking the financial risk, that the author would produce the promised copy in the time allotted. The advance was designed to give the struggling artist sustenance while creating his work, so he didn’t have to be distracted by working a normal job. In today’s market, the advance is more geared toward the publisher weighing how much money he stands to make against another publisher’s offer, but it still serves as a guarantee the author will produce the promised material by a specific date.

In Sarah’s case, its been announced her book deadline is set to coincide with Alaska legislature being in session. So when it comes down to the wire and there are only so many hours in a day, and she has to choose between finishing her book on time or attending legislative negotiations… can you guess which way she’ll tilt?

And… what spare time?

Sarah has two school-aged daughters, a son in Iraq, a teenage daughter living at home with her infant child and no income, a husband who promotes a major Alaskan sport requiring her to attend a certain number of events per season, a full-time job as Governor of the state of Alaska and an active, growing toddler with Downs Syndrome. Show me the way to her spare time. Please. The rest of us would like to go there too!

But let’s give Sarah-Superwoman the benefit of the doubt for a moment. Let’s say she has this mountain of old journals she’s diligently maintained thoroughout her life (even though no one has ever heard of these journals-which-gave-her-such-joy-to-write before) which provides so much background material, writing this book will be easy-peasy…

And let’s say that working on this book ends up not interfering with her dutiies as Governor (I can see the slash marks apearing on her calendar now of cancelled appointments) and let’s say her legal-schmegal team of experts actually have the expertise between them to redefine the term ‘income’ and re-write Alaska law long enough for her to get a book written and handed off to the publisher…

… I’m mentally stuck on the part where she says Alaska (because of it’s contribution to the oil industry) has no income tax for the state, no state sales tax, no state property tax. My mind has already fast-forwarded to that point in time where Sarah figures out how to get out of paying any federal income taxes on this book deal, either.

President Obama just promised the nation he’d close rank on upper echelon tax loopholes. But Sarah Palin has more experience at making egregious loopholes than Obama has at closing them:

As Mayor of Wasilla she authorized the start of construction on the building of a hockey rink-slash-community center, knowingly preempting the property title search, resulting in the city of Wasilla not only incurring $20 million of debt, but continuing, years later, to be embroiled in a costly legal battle over ownership of the land upon which the center is built. Which is sort of what a title search is supposed to prevent from happening . <insert eyeroll>

She immediatley selected a second piece of property aproximately one mile from the community center’s building site, eliminated all building code requirements in her town and had her husband put an unnamed construction crew together to build their now multi-million dollar house. After the house was built, the building codes were reinstated. There are local, ongoing investigations as to how much of her house is built from the same construction materials, (and by the same workers) as the community center – all paid for, of course, by the citizens of Wasilla.

As first-year Governor of Alaska she collected per diem money from fellow Alaskans for living in said house, falsely submitting day to day living expenses as routine travel expenses, and so far has not been made to pay any of it back.

Sorry Mr. President, but your federal taxation system doesn’t stand a chance against the new Governor-approved Alaska State Motto: Whatever Sarah Wants, Sarah Gets.

This isn’t the 1920’s. How does this happen?

First she positions herself in a role where she has immediate access to altering the law. Then she stacks the courts and upper legal state positions with hand-picked appointees who will exonerate her should anyone object to her alterations. Now shes free to do as she pleases. And she does.

If Sarah Palin were a man she’d be in jail right now.

C’mon Wasillans – speak up – before you have to start paying Sarah an import tax on heating oil only available from Senor Chavez because – one more time – your governor’s sole focus was on her own ambitions rather than your needs.

Slap my hand – I’ve pinched two photos from the Palin Deception blog. It’s ok though, I’m not actually stealing them, just borrowing them for an umm scientific experiment – yeah, that’s it – it’s for science! And I promise to give them back when I’m done. Honest!

WhatAreTheOdds

  The whole article is here  and I highly recommend you have a sticky beak. Now, on to the reason for my thievery.

The question of the dates (and therefore the physical condition of Bristol Palin) of these photos has been very much the topic of discussion, and on more than one website. However, I would like to point the viewer in a slightly different direction. The clothing.

In both photos, one purported to have been taken in Juneau, circa September 2007 and the other in December 2007, the clothing and hairstyles are identical. The only difference in any one of the 6 outfits is Sarah’s red jacket.

The girls are in identical dresses. They have identical hairstyles, down to Piper’s headband. The men are in identical suits, shirts and even Todd is sporting the same shiney red tie in both photos. The men’s haircuts don’t show a three month growth.

And really, ladies, what are the odds you can get 6 family members dressed in the same outfits, with the same hair-cuts and styles, three months apart? What are the odds Sarah could get her frosted bangs to brush the exact same way three months apart?

Sarah must be a far more organized mother than I ever was. To think I could have gotten any of my daughters to find a particular pink headband they’d worn three months earlier so they could wear it in another photo op, three monthslater, would have been a miracle. I was lucky when ribbons or barrets lasted a whole week!

My guess is they photo’d ahead, (if there is such a word) so to have a Governor’s family photo during the Holiday months, which could include Bristol, visibly still not obvious with child. Of course, this would mean the timing of Trig’s entire gestation period was a lie. and not just about the identity of his true mother, but the whole date of his birth.

Where’s the photographer? Surely he or she isn’t above being cajoled into tellng the truth?

C’mon Wasillans – talk to us 🙂

There is a new poll on TOPIX asking it’s readers to not only vote for whom they believe to be Trig Palin’s actual biological mother, but also asks the reasoning behind the vote.

I voted for Sarah Bristol. But my reasoning didn’t fit into the comment box *grins* so I thought I’d post it here;

Please understand my knowledge of Alaska and it’s Governor was nihl to nothing prior to Sarah stepping on the natonal stage last year as the VP candidate on John McCain’s Presidential ticket. Originally, I was behind McCain for the simple reason I had been a Hilary supporter and was gutted when she lost to the Still-Wet-Behind-The-Ears Senator Obama. But Sarah’s campaign of hate and disrespect for her fellow citizens changed everything. I began to campaign for Obama from my perch in Australia, having been won over by his relentless calm and unbounding logic regarding world affairs and economics – and fearful of the consequences a woman like Sarah Palin would proffer holding an executive office.

From the beginning, my gut has steered me away from taking anything Sarah Palin had to say at face value. So far, it’s looking like a pretty accurate instinct. So this is the reasoning behind my vote of ‘Bristol Palin is Trig’s natural mother”

My gut says this is how it all happened:

Bristol and Levi, having only been educated in abstinence and not actual birth control or STD prevention, succumb to teenage hormones and Bristol falls pregnant.

But during the first trimester, before Bristol starts showing or a plan can be made, one of her routine ultrasounds shows an abnormality. An amniocentesis is ordered. The baby has Downs Syndrome.

“How can this be? Bristol is too young to have a Downs baby! Only older women have that!”

“Well, no, actually, there are a percentage of young women who give birth to Downs babies every year. Statistically, it’s around .6%. That’s six out of every thousand pregnancies. There are actual support groups for young mothers Bristol’s age with Downs babies. I can give you a few numbers…”

But Sarah’s not thinking about support groups. The light in her brain has switched to the [on] position and a plan is hatched. Mom Sarah, realizing how other people would also associate a Downs baby with a late-in-life pregnancy, figures if she steps up and claims the baby is hers, no one would question it. She could avoid a scandal (teenage unwed mother and all that) and this pregnancy would not interfere with her political agenda. She’d only been Governor for a couple of months. This was not the time to test the public waters.

As soon as Bristol’s bump could no longer be hidden under a bulky sweatshirt, she’s pulled out of school and whisked away under the guise of having a case of mononucleosis so severe she requires complete bedrest, sans visitors. Sarah will wait until the very last minute to divulge her secret pregnancy.

After all, it’s also possible that the pregnancy would terminate itself. The doctor said there was a small but not uncommon chance that nature could intervene causing Bristol to miscarry. So she wouldn’t rush to tell people right away. She’d wait until at least the end of the second trimester.

In early March, Sarah begins wearing loose-fitting clothing. It was, after all, just faking a pregnancy. Not rocket science.

But Sarah’s impatient nature doesn’t have her slowing down. She maintains a busy schedule and keeps her eye on the political prize which lies ahead. She makes and keeps all speaking engagements. She adjusts the size of her belly, first with a simple band, then with the same fake bellies used by actresses to show the progressive phases of natural pregnancies. Which was heaps better because the band kept slipping, and she kept needing to explain why she wore her big coats indoors.

She would attribute the lack of swollen ankles and no increase in body fat to a healthy diet and good exercise. She could be pregnant and still do whatever she wanted to do. She would be the epitome of the modern woman.

Bristol going into labour while Sarah was out of state giving a speech tossed a monkey wrench into the mix, but it was still doable. The doctor had also explained that Bristol, being a first time mom would probably have a long labour. Sarah would have plenty of time to give her speech, get on the first plane out of Texas and with Todd at her side, get back to Wasilla before anyone was the wiser. She would make it home in time to say she’d comfortably delivered her baby, in her own state, by her own doctor.

As it was, Bristol didn’t deliver for several hours after she and Todd checked into the hospital. It was all good. They’d get through this politically unscathed.

The rumours of her being on the short list for the VP nomination turned out to be true. Senator McCain sent his scouts to meet with her. She assured them she was up to the task. Everything was going well.

The thing about not properly educating your children about sex, pregnancies and venereal diseases, is they are left to fumble around on their own. The old joke about the Catholic woman thinking ‘the rhythm method’ meant only having sex every Thursday night, isn’t so funny when you realize how many young women are left in the dark about how pregnancies actually happen.

I know, personally, a young woman who, at the age of 15, succumbed to having sex with her 2-year long boyfriend. She contracted herpes on their first intimate encounter. She was horrified. She looked me straight in the eye and said “but I don’t understand! I took a bath right after!”

A very common misnomer is that a woman cannot conceive directly after delivery. That while you are nursing, or bleeding from the delivery, you are safe to have unprotected sex. How appealing that must sound to many young people. Unprotected sex without consequences. No cumbersome rubber! Cool..

Enter baby Trip. And this time, Sarah can’t cover for her child. “Oh well, since we can’t hide her, we’ll just trot her out on the national stage as the pinup girl for abstinence-is-best and make some money off her speaking engagements. Bristol! You now believe in abstinence! Put down that basket of laundry and start writing your speeches!”

Well, that’s my story, and until someone from Wasilla who actually knows the truth, takes some responsibility and drags it out of the shadows and into the light of day, I’m sticking by it.

Hattip to The Immoral Minority  (link is just over there >>) for the poll at Topix.

EDIT:  Fixed stats number above. Correct stat is .6% (6/1000) rather than 6% as first posted. Thank you,  ENOUGHwiththetrainwreck,  for catching this error. (I should never try to work with numbers after midnight!)

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