Sarah-

So a couple of photos proving you ran in the half marathon at Storm Lake Iowa on 04 September have flittered about the blogosphere. One made some of us shake our heads, quite sure it had been photoshopped. One made us go oops she really did run it huh?

And I must be painfully honest with you Sarah, I really don’t give a crap whether you did or didn’t, do or don’t run at all. I’m quite sure you ran as a young woman and that you enjoyed it and even possibly used running to trim down after each of your pregnancies. (I was a dancer. I danced away all the pregnancy fat after each of mine.) I don’t, however, believe for a second that you run every day now because you’re Sarah Palin. Cameras follow you everywhere you go and not one inch of celluloid showing you running on a remote road (other than those pre-planned runs for photoshoots) has surfaced in almost three years.

And I would be quite happy to drop the whole issue except for this nagging feeling in my gut – and a closer look at the photos proffered as evidence of your almost 2 hour run on 04 September 2011.

Let’s look at them together shall we?

Well I must admit these certianly do look like beginning and ending shots of a runner. Wait. What the… Huh?

Can we zoom in a bit please? Aww thanks…

[click each image to enlarge]

Well sure, I suppose at some point during the 1.46 race time the weather shifted and you shed some layers – like the headband and top red shirt. No worries. I also guess that it’s possible the grey collar is just the top band of your tee-shirt pulled up for some reason. Ok. I’m fine with that. But umm…

Why is the sleeve on a shirt that visually only comes to your waist so giant-like huge? It’s literally two or three sizes bigger than your arm and is so long it covers your hand completely. Ok maybe you grabbed someone else’s red shirt and it just doesn’t fit. But then why roll up the hem? Hmmm…

And doesn’t this picture show the race number as being attached to the top of the red shirt in the front? If it is, how on earth did you manage to slip it off during the race? Lifting it over your head would have pulled the grey tee with it no?

And where did the word Jump disappear to? It should be partially visible above the number 6. Shadows? Wait – no shadows… it’s 7:30 am and overcast.

Uh-oh – looks like you bumped into some wet paint and stained your nice black pants. What a shame!. They look great on you!

But wait a minute… how did the paint stain shift from one leg to the other during the race? (Update: According to comments, there’s a white smudge on both legs  – but even blown up I can’t find it. I am, however, willing to concede to younger eyes than mine!) (H/T to Andrea)

Surely you didn’t stop during the race and take them off and then put them back on back to front did you? No wait that wouldn’t work. If you’d put them on backwards the paint stain would shift to the back of your leg. Well that’s certainly a head-scratcher!

Ok Sarah now I know you’re just messing with us. Where (during the race) did you get the snazzy timing gear? Doesn’t that type have a wire that runs up your arm, through your sleeve, down your back to come out and then run down to your shoe? Did you attach this when you took off the red shirt and white headband?  UPDATE: Correction – that thing that looks like a cable is in fact a sidewalk crack – what a terrific illusion! (H/T the problem child)

And if you did this during the race, how would it give you an accurate time at the end?

You’re really a Houdini at heart aren’t you!

Now Sarah, I know you hate science but…

…did you know one can tell the time of day a photo was taken by the shadow the images cast?  You need to know the city and state, the height of the image and the ratio between the shadow and the image height.

Well Sarah, according to Sandburg Center for Sky Awareness, someone your size between 9:30 and 10am on 04, Sept 2011, at Storm lake Iowa would have cast a shadow 12 inches (or more) longer than the one you seem to be casting here. The length of your shadow actually seems to more accurately portray a photo taken at either 11am or 1pm. Of course – I can be wrong but still…

And I guess I’m also a bit befuddled at the whole lack of people in this second photo. I’m sure you have a reasonable explanation but really Sarah… where are all the folks who drove, flew, trained, biked and bussed themselves in to see you at this shindig? One would think that fans willing to spend several hours on freezing nights in shopping mall parking lots just to get a glimpse of you and a signed copy of your book would surely be patient enough to wait one hour and forty-six minutes for you to run a race and be there at the finish line to cheer you on?

But there’s no one. Just the nice man waving you across the finish line. That is what he’s doing with his arms, right? Waving you over the line? Well no, that would be silly because you’re just walking calmly checking your time. He would surely have relaxed his arms by now, wouldn’t he?

Especially since you’re checking your time against a device you only wore in part during the race? Hmm…

Ok Sarah I’m signing off now. Can’t wait to hear all the explanations come out of the woodwork. You need to know though Sarah, that if you actually did run the whole race and in one hour and forty-six minutes, that these badly staged, after-thought photos injected to ensure we all see what you want us to see rather than just showing us the naked truth from the beginning are just the kind of thing that make most of us disbelieve you in the end.

When I see video footage of you running through an entire race, then I will happily concede. Until then – for me – this was just another phoney image you dreamed up to give yourself a legitimacy you didn’t earn just to fill your wallet.

-OzMud

PS – Don’t know how I could have missed this earlier but Sarah? How can a person sweat so profusely on their neck and shoulders while staying perfectly bone dry under their arms? You continue to amaze…

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In her book, Sarah jokes about having had contractions during her infamous ‘my Down Syndrome son isn’t due for a month and my water broke but I don’t need to go to a hospital’ speech in Texas. And yet here’s an excerpt from her press interview given to the ADN (Anchorage Daily News) just 4 days after the alleged birth of Trig Paxson Van Palin:

FAMILY FEELS BLESSED: Back at work already, governor says she wasn’t in labor in Texas. By LISA DEMER ldemer@adn.com Published: April 22nd, 2008 01:11 AM Last Modified: October 20th, 2008 02:15 PM

“I am not a glutton for pain and punishment. I would have never wanted to travel had I been fully engaged in labor,” Palin said. After four kids, the governor said, she knew what labor felt like, and she wasn’t in labor.

The full ADN article is archived here.

So which is it? And how, after delivering four other babies, could she not know that the slightest twinge of labour (false or not) can become fully engaged labour without notice or provocation?

And why didn’t her ghost-writer know to check the local news archives so Sarah’s book would reflect versions of events already in print or on tape? Had the writer never researched a book prior to ghost-writing this one? Would Harper Collins have sent a green ghost-writer to handle such an ambitious, potentially lucrative endeavour? Would they not have wanted to protect their investment with a proper writer? The idea that all the discrepancies in Sarah’s book can be attributed to an inexperienced ghost-writer seems a bit too convenient to me. And fishy too, also.

But put all that aside because we have other discrepancies upon which to focus today. Below is a photo of Trig, a premature baby of almost 5 weeks, at a reported birthweight of 6 lbs 2 oz, being held by his grandmother, in the hospital corridor, just hours after he was allegedly born:

And here is a photo of Trig on Mercede’s lap, in Sarah’s dining room, at least 1 – 7 days after said birth:

Did you get that? Ok look at it another way. BabyTrig, home from the hospital beside my friend with her ‘just born’ bub, Missimoo.

The two babies pictured above are meant to be only 1/4 pound different in weight. Four ounces. 113 grams. That difference is equal to 1/2 cup of sugar, 1 stick of butter (US) or a 1/4 pound Big Mac (without the bun and lettuce).

Look again at the photos of Trig, one allegedly taken only a few hours after his birth, and the other on or just after his homecoming (which was reported to have been the day after his birth):

Now do you get it? The bub Trig in Mercede’s lap is noticeably smaller than the newborn Trig in grandma’s arms, and yet that photo was taken at least one day after Trig’s birth. The photos could not have been mislabelled or taken in any other order because the photos of grandma showing off her ‘hours’ old grandson’ is well documented by newspaper and television crews. Obviously, then, the aunt Mercede holding baby Trig while seated in one of Sarah’s dining room chairs photo, had to have been taken after the hospital hallway photo, after mum and bub have gone home from the hospital.

And yet the two bubs in the photos of Trig don’t appear to be the same age or weight.

Head – meet desk!

For the record, I hadn’t really paid attention to any of these photos when they were first shown a year ago. But some time after Missimoo was born, and I was looking through her hospital photos, the penny dropped. Look how Trig fits in the crook of Mercede’s arm. She needs only one arm to support him and only the one hand to secure his bum and his classic premie-baby, fetal-positioned legs. That was my epiphany. That’s exactly how my 4 lb 4 oz premie son looked and fit in the crook of my arm until he was about 5 lbs (around 4 weeks old). Missimoo, on the other hand, spills over her dad’s arms (see next) and her brother needs both of his arms to balance his sister (see summary). Plus, when you look at the photos side by side, the bub in Mercede’s lap has the look of a premature infant while the bub in grandma’s arms, with his well-rounded face, clearly does not.

This is a 6 lb+ newborn baby:

This is not:

The only logical explanation is that Trig was actually born several weeks prior to his public debut and that the MySpace photos (mysteriously wiped from the internet during the 2008 Presidential campaign) more accurately depict his real homecoming. Sarah’s wild McRide across the US was an amateurish exercise in misdirection, deliberately executed to establish her pregnancy as fact and garner credibility and favour with the media.

The photo-op pictorial of Sarah’s parents holding their newborn grandson in the hospital corridor the next day is as McPhoney as McSarah’s new McCheekbones. But it does establish her parents as willing cohorts in her scheme to separate the American McPeople from their McCash.

And for me, here’s the icing on the cake – if it turns out that baby Trig was born not on April 18, but in February or March, my (and a lot of others) original observation that Bristol and Levi, as two teenagers brought up under the misguided banner of abstinence only, erroneously thought they had a window of opportunity to safely engage in unprotected sex following Trig’s birth, thus resulting in Bristol’s falling pregnant a second time, fits surprisingly neatly into the timeline of a second son, Tripp, being born in December.

I cannot possibly know which of the Babygate theories is true, if any of them are true, but I can tell you that my eyes are not so old I can’t tell the difference between the premie look of the bub in the photos gleaned from Mercede’s MySpace, taken in Sarah’s home, and the more matured weight and look of the bub displayed in grandma’s arms, allegedly taken no less than the day before the dining room photos and purportedly only a few hours after his birth for the benefit of news crew cameras.

If (after you’ve stopped banging your head on your desk) you’d like to explore this subject further, there are more opinions, theories and photos on several blogs dedicated to exposing the truth behind politicians in general and Sarah Palin specifically at the following links. Some of my photos were pinched from news archives and these sites:

Hypocrites & Heffalump Traps   (What a premie baby looks like)
Hypocrites & Heffalump Traps   (Levi, Special Olympics & Trig

Palingates  (Babygate)
Bree Palin  (Trig the day he was born)
Palin’s Deceptions  (Mercedes Johnston MySpace Page)
Phil Walczak/KTUU-TV  (Journo allowed to film a documentary of  Sarah prior to Trig’s birth and before she announced her pregnancy to the public)

In summary:

When I look at these all together in a group, an old Sesame Street song pops into my head. And thanks to youtube, here it is 🙂

 

To comment on this post please scroll back to the title “The four Ounce Gambol (McPhoney McPhotos) nd click the word comments directly beneath – Thanks, OzMud